The Unedited, Unrated, Over 90s Thriller Is The Epic Fire Of Satan’s Gunslinger
Written by Robert Scucci | Published
When a film is written, directed, produced, and starred in by one person, it usually means one of two things. It’s either that one idea is done with intelligent creative control because that’s the only way such a project can exist in a pure form, like Shane Carruth’s. The beginning. Or, more often than not, it pushes us into the realm of Tommy Wiseau and James Nguyen, with films like 2003. The room and in 2010 Birdemic: Shock and Awe.
While the tragedies of Nguyen and Wiseau are celebrated at midnight, we must also include John De Hart, the man who followed in 1993. Champagne and Lettersbecause he actually laid out the blueprint for modern work in vain. This is the kind of film created by someone who knows nothing about storytelling, acting, film production, sound design, or when to cut out extended, deeply disturbing sex scenes, but feels compelled to make the film anyway.
In other words, John De Hart left so James Nguyen and Tommy Wiseau could run. The films mentioned above are excellent examples of people trying their best and accidentally creating memorable cinematic punishments found on broadcast. I’d mention Neil Breen here too, but I still don’t know if he’s in on the joke or just happy to be a part of it. All I know is that Champagne and Lettersalso known as How to Revenge again GetEvenHe was created without reproach, a good thing.
I can’t say that in good conscience Champagne and Letters it doesn’t come anywhere close to being a good movie, but I’m very glad it exists for reasons I’ll get into.
You Can Take The Title Literally
Champagne and Letters it never fails to live up to its name because it has a lot of champagne and a lot of character. John De Hart stars as Rick Bode, and Wings Hauser stars as Huck. Both men are kicked out of the police force by their corrupt boss, Normad (William Smith), and the result is due to the film’s running time. Rick takes the high road and tries to move on with his life, working as a limo driver. Huck, on the other hand, lives under a bottle of liquor, unable to cope with his wife’s mysterious death or his dwindling career prospects.
Known for “talking in Hamlet” and belting out country ballads whenever the opportunity arises, Rick’s carefree behavior catches the attention of Cindy (Pamela Bryant), a young woman on the run from a troubled past involving a satanic cult. As their love grows, Huck’s life continues to spiral. The real conflict comes when Cindy reveals the darkness she’s trying to escape from, which becomes personal when Rick learns that Normad is actually the cult leader responsible for terrorizing him.
Along the way, Rick and Cindy make love and drink champagne, and the characters, many of them, come full circle as the film reaches its third-act climax.
It’s So Weird That I Can’t Even …
If the exact same storyboard of Champagne and Letters had it been given to a talented filmmaker, it could have resulted in a passing dark comedy. The complete lack of irony here, however, turns it into an endlessly enjoyable watch for all the wrong reasons.
When Rick repeats the episodes that appear Hamletthe editing is obvious because De Hart obviously couldn’t get into the lines in one take. All the sex scenes are rough, too long, and sometimes involve the use of ice creams on bare skin. De Hart, who has the opportunity to convey a wide range of human emotions depending on the scene, remains paradoxically direct, as if this is his first day on Earth and he decided to make a romantic action film about cults, corruption, champagne, and cheating.
Normad is an excellent host Champagne and Lettersit’s the worst kind of composite character, mostly because there’s no believable way a single antagonist could wield this much influence over the entire established world. All of these elements come together to create one of the most disjointed, strange, and unintentionally funny attempts at filmmaking that any moviegoer can appreciate.
I’m not a fan of the “too bad is good” label, though Champagne and Letters fits well. The integrity that comes with a vanity project like this can’t be faked, and I’m glad it’s there because there’s something inherently inspiring about watching someone punch above their weight class to tell their story, no matter how misguided the outcome may be.
For violence, romance, champagne, and bullets, you can stream Champagne and Letters free on Tubi as of this writing.
